It does not matter how little

It said people use curse words to express themselves as their vocabulary is limited. Believe what is baking soda me, my vocabulary is as big as the Lord's grace, but sometimes a swearword something articulate. Not all the words in the thickest dictionary can tell exactly what's fuck-up that is if one's mother died. Away. Forever. As in absolutely way for the rest of my life.
It's the last time I will write about this, because I know no one really knows what to say to someone who has lost a loved one. 'I'm sorry for your loss. Strength. Thinking of you. ' Yes, I know and I appreciate it. I have all those words all other said and meant it from my heart. what is baking soda It's just, it's just words. Comfort for the moment. So I write here, because that's all I can honestly what is baking soda say how I feel blood. How I go. Without a vision need to sit. Without the inside of my cheeks have to bite pieces to cry my heart out.
My mother was old, yes. She had a good life, yes. By the end she was very sick and we thought it would be more merciful than his, yes. We we knew nothing! NOTHING! For if one's mother is dead, is NOTHING ever be the same. I thought I was strong. I have fought fierce battles in my life, things survive which only the very nearest to me know. I'm a tough cookie. So much for tough.
I am a mess. I fall in the most unexpected, most inopportune times apart. I will be quite okay today, just getting what is baking soda more out of the blue something completely unrelated to an impossible place to remember and in a split second my mother crystal clear standing before me. It's like a punch out of nowhere. Sometimes I cry, the tears just walk and walk out of my eyes, and nothing I do not get it stopped.
I hate to be such pissie not have control. I see other old people, older than 72, and they are okay. And my mother died. I want someone with his fist lightning. I want to hit something, anything. Sometimes I breathe, every breath I take out somewhere deep deep just to take in enough what is baking soda oxygen. I want to throw myself down and scream that I want my mother, like when I was little.
I just sit sometimes for long periods and do nothing. what is baking soda Something strange to me, but I feel too tired to lift my arms. And I am the lightning in it for myself. Because that's not me. But I also do not know how to get it. I can for periods normally, and then strike me she was gone. Not in another town. Away. Just gone completely. For the rest of my life.
I know I have to go see someone. I had enough savvy to know. But I do not feel like it. Lust for guts thread in someone's office. Not want 'happy pills' drink, because nothing is going to kill my mother less. I write but here. There is a hole in my heart, in my life. I do not know what to make with that hole nice. One day I will hopefully learn to live with that hole, because there is nothing else you CAN do. I no longer have a mother. She is really dead. It's a fuck-up.
July 17, 2013 @ 1:23 pm
The night that my mother oorl is, I have my arms around her shoulders and told her I's here - she's not alone, though comfort it wragtag, now I'm sitting but my arms around your shoulders and tell you tonight - you're not alone, I'm here. It takes a long time to get used to a mother who is no more. There will come a day when you laugh at funny things she has done or said. Sometimes it just takes damn long it feels like an eternity. Mine quite so week before her death so even wanted me to be prepared that there is one day that one should "step over life after death" (her words). Grrr bond with one's mother is strong, great to still beautiful things to remember. I'll tell you I have walked the road each raw in his own way and experience longing on his way and strength help boggerol, I know. But maybe it helps if I tell you man to cry. BUT give yourself laughing in between-in.Dan one day you realize you can all think of her or talk without what is baking soda crying. what is baking soda
mykopop
diearmygirl
Roxy thank you for your honesty. what is baking soda You have just expressed what I felt two years ago. I was my father's child as my mother sin but God only knows how her death hit me hard. I like you a tough cookie what is baking soda but girl her death hit me harder than my hardest fight. I can tell you now it is better but the hole is always there. There's nothing to feel bad you do not have to see only your own time brings healing. Strength
It does not matter how little "quality of life" had someone on the end: There's an awful big difference between alive and dead. And no, it's NOT better way. I pray for you without words because I do not know what I should what is baking soda ask, but I believe the